Relationship Reality ~ It is not Hollywood but it can be amazing!

 What Is Love?

I thought I might share what I have learned thus far about relationships as it seems some younger women have a very distorted view.  So here are some of the lessons I have learned from my own marriage, the many dating relationships I had before I was married, as well as watching others relationships.

1. A perfect relationship is only as perfect as you believe it to be. 
2. Being alone still exists within a marriage or partnership.
3. Desperation for affection only drives the other person away. 
4. Whining and complaining all the time only makes others angry. 
5. Hollywood romance is just that, Hollywood.
6. Demanding from your partner more than you give gets old really quick. 
7. A good man will tell you that you look beautiful even when you don't feel like it. 
8. A good man will stare into his phone, computer, games or other such hobbies even when you have had an awful day.
9. A good man will ignore his dirty laundry, the sobbing kids, the piles of dishes in the sink.
10. A good man listens to you cry and fall apart, and then tells you how to solve the problem. They solve problems, they don't get all Girlfriend on you. The quicker you learn that the better your partnership will be.
11. A good wife or partner speaks clearly on what she wants and needs from him or her. ( still working on this one.) 
12. A good man does not understand body language or flapping hands, ranting or raving in mono syllables. They are literal and require you to be a little more clear. 
13. A good man gets nervous when you call him by his first and last name. 
14. You will get angry. You will loose your temper and you will want to throw him and all his stuff out the front door. This could happen on more occasions then one is willing to admit. 
15. If he is a good man he will defend his mother when you get pissed at her. If he did not then he will not defend you to his friends or co-workers. 
16. A healthy relationship requires both parties to participate in sex. Yes this does mean a BJ one in a while. 
17. Affection is you giving him a BJ in the bathroom or under his desk. 
18. Wear an apron and nothing underneath to shock the living crap out of him. 
19. Flirt and loosen up a bit. 
20. Being a bitch to other people is not a turn on to a good man.
21. Respecting yourself is a huge turn on and you feel amazing as well. 
22. A win win relationship is where both people shut up and let the other person talk, share, and be vulnerable. 
23. Vulnerability is you sitting quietly while he blows his top at you. It is listening to his rantings and ravings and finding that you love him more now then you did ten seconds ago. 
24. Vulnerability is trusting your heart and letting go of the baggage. 
25. Count yourself lucky when he brings flowers home and cooks a meal. Make a huge deal about it, and be sincere. Appreciation and gratitude goes a long way in the day to day haul of a marriage. 
26. Don't require him to be a woman, he is supposed to be a man. 
27. Tell him how much you love him and then show him how much you desire and crave him. 
28. Be fun again, laugh, smile, play and flirt. After a few years of the same person we forget and relationships get stale. 
29. Marriage is a daily experience, it is never the same if you are willing to experience your love in a new way every day. 
30. And last but not least, GET OVER YOURSELF. Let the too fat, too ugly, I hate my job, I hate my life, the neighbor sucks, the car that cut me off, drama;  just  let go. Take a deep breath and enjoy a moment to be grateful for all the amazing things you have experienced thus far.

Just a few tidbits that I have learned the hard way!

A relationship was not made to meet/satisfy the "tired of being alone" mantra. Relationships were made for personal growth, maturity, seeing yourself and all your truly amazing flaws in technicolor. Relationships were created to learn the process of vulnerability, trust, and character development. They were created for all of us to learn how to become our true selves. The moment we "get over" the stereotype/ fairytale concepts of love, the better off we will be. Love is always changing, growing, dying and reappearing again when the sun is out the frost has faded away. But the most important lesson of relationship is loving yourself no matter how angry you are, they are, the kids are or your parents and in-laws. It is about communication and learning how to be sympathetic and willing to listen instead of defending your point of view or territory. It is also patience and forgiveness and being each others best friend.  An honest relationship allows your Knight in shining armor to fall off his horse and be the real person that you fell in love with. After all didn't you want him to love you just as you are?

To create the perfect pair of jeans requires conversation & exchange of ideas!

Well so far I have received feed back from over 20 women in regards to what they hate or love about their jeans. 

Here are just a few exceprts that I have received thus far.

" Waist fits but hips and butt sag..."

"Too tight in the thighs and butt..."

"Jeans are not made for petite women with curves..."

"Quality is lacking...."

" I hate "mom" jeans."

" I am tall but the jeans are not long enough."

" I hate jean shopping."

" I refuse to wear jeans, they are horrible."

And the list goes on and on.

What I find interesting is that out of 20 plus women I recieved  over 30 complaints in regards to their jeans. So what will happen when I survey more?

As a designer as well as a women who really dislikes jean shopping, can't find jeans that fit any more, and have been wearing the same ones I have for eons, I think it is about time to change that.

So I have created a fun and interesting survey/poll for Research and Development of a new jean design company. Please take some time to answer as your input will really help me to develop designs and patterns that will meet a higher percentage of what women out there are wanting and needing from their jeans!

 

Is this scary? Hell yeah! Can I do it? YES I CAN WITH YOUR HELP! In order for me to understand the needs, wants and desires I have to receive your input! So ladies I am challenging you to become active in the development of your perfect pair of jeans!

So Click on the Link Below and Let me know what you think about your jeans! 

What we want to see changed about our Jeans!

A day in my life....Jean shopping *&^%# that!

I was trying to think how I could write this and not be so darn serious. Because it truly is serious but at the same time, humor tends to create clarity. So here we go....

Close your eyes for a moment....

Take a deep breathe....

Ready....

Set....

Go!

Jean Shopping....the most interesting experience out there....    

Now envision someone not a typical size 6 or smaller....yep that is me...

Get the picture?

Excerpt on inner dialogue.

"I am so fat..."

" God damn it..

" Look, my ass is huge!"

After ten pairs tried on... Sweat is now pooling under arms... running down middle of back...

"Fuck this."

Heart is starting to feel broken...

Tears are threatening....

"I am so ugly."

"Why can't I just freaking loose weight."

"No one makes jeans for me."

"I hate how I look."

"I hate my ass"

"I am such a fucking looser."

Jeans are now piled in a corner...

"Why can't I just be normal?"

"Why did I have to be so fucking big?"

Wipes away tears while staring in the mirror...

Flips the finger at one's self and slams out of dressing room....

Feels completely humiliated and a shamed....

Goes home and eats a full bowl of ice cream...

Parting shot....

"Screw wearing jeans, I will wear what I have...."

Have you ever felt shamed when you go clothing shopping? Have you beat yourself up to a pulp and left the store nearly in tears? Why is fashion so determined to make those of us who do not have "normal" body types feel so horrible? Isn't it time that someone started to change that? How can I as a clothing designer meet the needs of "not normal" sized people?

Isn't it time that we as women begin to let the fashion industry know we are tired of their narrow ways of thinking? Why should we have to wear horribly ugly clothing that isn't made right, looks like you threw a bag over your shoulders just because we are not a size 6? Something to think about ladies... write me a message if you have something to say about this. I would love to hear your points of view... lets start a conversation and stop shaming ourselves because we don't "fit in!"

~ Jeannine 

Vulnerable, Cancer and Community

I believe I was about ten years old, if I remember correctly. It was my first experience with death, not a normal death but a horribly painful death of someone I held so close to my little heart. She was in a way my adopted grandma, and even though I did not say it, I did not talk much at that age, but my adoration of her and her caring for me meant everything to me. She died of cancer, that Big C word that throughout my life has affected and effected me on levels so deep it has in so many ways been an excuse. The excuse that some where, some how, there is no gurantee in this life. That even the most beloved people will die or leave you. There is no gurantee of love, or success unless you follow the formula, the pattern or other illusions that we have paid for more than enough.

I remember standing in their house, she was almost gone and she looked so awful, in a way that I could not even begin to fathom. Her skin was yellow, and shrunken and most of her hair was gone. I could not stand it, the pain was so intense it felt as though I had been run through with a sword. And some how and some way I shut down. I closed the door and everything from then on was always at arms reach. I attended her funeral, and I felt as though I wasn't even there. I was there, physically there, but it was so surreal  that she was gone. That I would never, ever see her again. And all the "faith" in the world was not going to bring her back.

I have up to this moment, been scared to death of loss, of some how never being good enough to deserve life, love, happiness, success, fulfilment, an amazing life chocked full to the brim. Yes I have spent years in this process of growth but there is always something that we still have to face and be vulnerable within our own souls.

So yes, Cancer scares me. It has scared me beyond reason as people that I loved and cared for have died from all forms of cancer. It has been torture and in that process I have kept myself at arms length from empathy, sympathy, vulnerability and willingness to "sit" there and place myself in conversation with others who are or have gone through these painful experiences.

So what am I saying? I am saying that I desire fully to start a conversation with those who have walked, are walking or experiencing cancer on some level. I desire to sit with you, have a cup of coffee and listen. How can I be of service to you? This is no longer about my fear...of death and dying but placing myself in the place of support.

My heart desire to become more involved in the arena of the beautiful warriors men, women and children who wake up every morning with the realization that today is all we truly have. I want to hear your story, I want to know what needs are not being met, and I desire to hear what if anything could make your experience a little bit better, your life a bit brighter.

Can I start a conversation with you?