REALLY?
I most certainly have a few things to say about that. You see when you are young and naive, as I was, fitting in the "group" was number one priority. You did not speak your truth, if you even knew what that was. You most certainly did not buck authority or talk out of line with adults. You smiled and took it even when gals and guys stabbed you in the back.
That followed over into marriage, where honestly according to him everything was my fault. It was my fault that he had issues, that he lied, that he cheated, that my parents hated him, that he nearly got thrown in jail for fraud. And for what ever reason, rocking the boat, calling him out on his shit was no where near the top of the list.
So I chose to take it, his verbal and physical abuse. I chose to live in torture because some where in the back of my mind, I heard the voices of many before me. Be nice, he will change, love him anyways, it does not matter that he treats you like shit. No one called him on his shit, not even me.
So here is a question. Are women believing the lies still that a demure women who bends over backwards, chooses to sacrifice her truth just to keep the waters calm, is of more value? Why do we still believe that shit? Why do we still allow boys, men, other women and authority figures to dictate to us how we should be?
Why are girls and women so terrified to call things for what they are? We are beautiful and powerful women! We wear heels, gorgeous dresses, get our nails done, or have our nose buried in a book, and you know what, we still kick ass. Yes I did say that, and even when he or she screams that you don't care, or says what about my feelings, you can look them straight in the face and call it for what it is. Who cares about the fallout because honestly it has absolutely nothing to do with you! That is right, nothing!
I surely do feel looking back I should have called the bullies in school for that, bullies. I should have told the cheating boyfriends as well as the one who sexually assaulted me, that they were dicks and reported them to the authorities. I should have told my dad that either he quit beating me or I was going to have his ass hauled off to jail, period. I should have been a pain in the ass, instead of trying to avoid things and pretend that everything was hunky dory. I also should have reported my ex husband for fraud and did what I should have done the moment I knew it was a mistake to marry him. I should have never walked down that isle.
But I was too afraid of causing a scene, having spent the money after all, didn't you follow through with what you said you would do? I believed that with all my heart and I felt that love would win the war.There is one thing I did learn, love does not win the war when you join the person in the ditch. Love cannot change a person who is unwilling to even consider your love. Love will never win the argument between you and your spouse when one bends to the will of the other. There is such a thing as standing your ground and not compromising no matter the cost.
But women are relationship oriented and men are not. Men see things in boxes and catagories and they regurgitate the crap that they hear online, from their own father figures or others in order for them to feel better about themselves. Sometimes you have to call them on their shit, and face the angry lion or bear down even if that means you have to walk away.
Many times I have had men in my life literally throw temper tantrums, women do as well. But it was a royal one, and instead of my normal behavior from the past, of 'what is wrong," or what did I do wrong" I faced him and said "Oh, so your going to throw a temper tantrum for what? I walked out of the room and I never bent my knee to his irrational demands. And you know what, that fucking felt awesome! He was angry, but I was angry too, angry that he would even consider my relenting to his tantrum. He got over it, and it is slowly changing. He is changing because I am changing. I quit blaming him for my shitty life and started taking a serious look at myself, my choices and how I viewed myself. Blaming men for the havoc does not solve the problem, it exacerbates it to the extreme. Resistance only breeds more resistance. So I am not ranting feminism here, I am ranting changing your own point of view, take responsibility for your own rotten stories and get over it already. Because...
Love wins when you love yourself so freaking much that you absolutely refuse to sell yourself short. Love wins when you are picky about how you treat yourself, view yourself and stand firmly in your infinite self. Love wins and changes others lives when you have the courage to change yourself. If you want respect, then start respecting yourself in everything that you do. If you want trust, then start trusting your inner knowledge, gut instinct and intuition. If you self says get the fuck out of there now, then don't make excuses and try to play nice. People who play nice with others who's intentions are to do harm, will harm you. And all you can do is seriously look at yourself. Love wins and makes the world a better place when you follow your bliss and do what you love. Not what others tell you to do because nice girls, smart girls, good wives do this or that.
I mean seriously lets get real. Have you ever seen a man give birth? Would a man even be able to give birth? They weep like little boys when they have to pass a kidney stone. I have seen them cry in the hospitals over small things, and here women are having babies every moment of the day. If men think they are all that, then I seriously want to see one have a baby. It is time for men and women to grow up! But how do they know what that means if the women and girls in their lives do not love themselves?
Women are tough, women are kind, women are mothers, we are sisters, we care, we feel and we love to connect with others via conversation. Our minds are incredible and our bodies are amazing. So as women, why do we sell ourselves short when there is absolutely no reason too. Why do we rationalize our past pain, allow others to mistreat us, ridicule us and or abuse us, when it is not necessary.
We are seriously safer being our intuitive, infinite selves then to be something we are not. Do Not Apologize for who or what you are. Do not seek approval from anyone other then yourself. Do not love anyone more than you love yourself and most importantly never forget that women are the gate to heaven. That a man can never really truly experience the transcendence of himself sexually without a woman. We hold the power ladies, we hold the power to bring change to our world. We have the ultimate power to love beyond reason and we have the power to teach others how to love themselves just as passionately.
So put your big girl panties on and get the fuck over the stupid stories that you have said about yourself for eons. Stop whining and bitching about how terrible things are if all your going to do is sit there and complain. Instead, grab that super hero cape, and leap off the roofs into the belly of your inner most being.
Write, sing, dance, Drive race Cars, become president of the United States for all I care. Just do it. Follow your heart and Love living life to it's fullest.
Stand up Women, it is time!
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